I’m at stressed.com

Today the kids are so wound up nothing but nothing is calming them down. I really need to change one of the bedrooms into a sensory room that way they will have somewhere to calm down. Not sure what I will put in it but I will search the internet for some ideas.

I’m supposed to be writing a few reviews today , but the words are just not coming out right. I wrote a review yesterday, not happy with it but will leave it for now and maybe change it at a later date. I felt so alone today, even though people are talking to me online just feel so lonely. I was sent this poem today and it does make you stop and think about things.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Today I felt like I wanted to be in Italy but I have been given Holland, sometimes I forget how lucky I am to be in Holland. This poem brought it all back home again.

Anyay back to stress.com time to change it to happy.com……….


One response to “I’m at stressed.com

  1. Catrina Shackleton

    What a lovely poem and so very true! You are very lucky that although you are in Holland, they are all in good health and you are slowly finding that there is help available. I only wish that you had someone in real life that you could share your stress with, I know you’ve got your hubby but, he is at work and you are coping when they are bouncing off the walls. A sensory room is a lovely idea, is it worth approaching specialist companys to see if they can help you? Can the special school that perkie attends give you any info about products etc…. Good luck and remember to enjoy Holland! x

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