Please Think ………..

To follow-up from my post Why Are Parents So Cruel – the story how a parent didn’t invite my daughter to a party due to her having special needs. Well it seems I am not on my own and this is the upsetting part. After talking to a lot of parents with special angels for what ever reason the consensus seems to be same. These special angles are discriminated against and are left out of these social events too often.

If a parent doesn’t know how to handle the child , please why not just ask the child’s parents if they can attend to help the child. With isolating these children you are not only upsetting them you are discriminating against them and life is tough enough for these angels without adding any unnecessary hurt and upset.

My daughter yesterday was inconsolable because she didn’t go to the party that she knew about. In fact she had a major meltdown and the outcome was she scribbled all over the walls and ran out of the house after spending the day crying.

So next time you are organising a party take a minute and invite that child that has difficulties or that child that is slightly different. At the end of the day they are humans beings and deserve to be treated with respect. You never know you might just make their day instead of ruining it .


23 responses to “Please Think ………..

  1. I think I was lucky that my AS boy hated parties for so long. The few he was invited to were such a terror for him that we stopped going. He didn’t notice when the invites stopped coming.

    • Thank you for your comment.

      I think its awful the children get left out in the first place, its a shame he can’t cope with parties, must be so hard. Mine can only cope for a hour

  2. Very well said!!

    Your poor daughter, hope tomorrow isn’t too hard for her with all the after party chat 😦 please let us know how she gets on.

    Rhoda xxx

  3. just read this post,and it mirrors the comment I just left after the last one.Sorry,I should have read this one before responding!

  4. Oh i remember this too well, this is so upsetting!!
    As a parent to see your child feel so upset because they wern’t invited to another childs party is heart breaking x
    I too wish that parents would think about the effect this has on the child or children that aren’t being invited x

  5. Unbelievable. There are two special needs girls in my son’s class and they are treated exactly the same as every other child as far as party invitations go. I can’t believe people are so selfish and narrowminded.

    Give your little girl a hug from me xx

  6. I think this is a really important post, and i’m glad i read it. I am going to be brave and admit that i understand why parents would choose not to invite a child they ignorantly might label as “difficult”. Amongst all the stress that goes into organising a kids party, it would be a selfish, ill-thought-through and self-serving, self justified decision. And a totally wrong decision, both practically and morally. It needs people like you speaking out to put some sense into us.

    Thank you.


    • Thank you for your comment.

      I can understand why parents don’t invite these angels but its a bit unfair when its the whole class. All i wanted the parent to do was ask.

      Thank you for reading and commenting

      wendy xxx

  7. My son is also missed from the partys i think the parents are scared incase he gets ill but it’s so unfair, if they just ask me if he would be ok and it’s not like I would be leaving him alone either!

  8. It amazes me that people who choose to have children and become parents themselves are not aware of how these things can affect a child and their family.
    I’m truly shocked and it’s something I’ll make sure I’m aware of when my children get to school age.

  9. I completely agree with what you are saying. I think it is cruel and hurtful to exclude a child who has special needs… most notably if “everyone else” is invited. That being said, I chose to invite all the children in my daughter’s pre-K class year, including a little friend with autism. We were happy to have him and his mother attended… however, she brought not only him, but also her other two young sons (without telling me ahead of time) and proceeded to park herself on a chair in my house and expect me to babysit. My home was ransacked and I was overwhelmed. With eight (well, ten, counting the extra sibs) other little children to entertain, I simply could not meet his needs by myself. Now… the PARENT is to blame for that situation, not the child. I do not blame him for any of what happened. Still, when we wrote our invites this year, my daughter chose just five little friends from her class and he was not one of them. I would feel bad about that if we were inviting everyone else, but I don’t think that we *must” invite him because he has special needs either… I am so sorry this is so long-winded. I just think it is a complicated situation. It is not always as simple as having a parent attend. That assumes the parent will be attentive, helpful, and in-tune to her child. Sadly, this is not always the case…

    Really enjoyed your post- very well-written. And my heart does break for your daughter because, clearly, you are a mother who would be happy to be hands-on and assist your child…

    • Thanks for your comment.

      I can see what your saying that parent was well out of order and I would never dream of bringing my other kids to a party. I would stay with her and watch her all the time, I think its awful someone wanted you to babysit.

      I can also see why you didn’t invite them again.

      Thank you for the compliment xx

  10. I was really angry after reading your post that anyone would do this! I would go out of my way to ensure a special needs child wasn’t left out and can’t believe people could be so thoughtless!
    Hope she liked her chocolate cake xx

    • Thank you for your comment

      Its how people are unfortunately thats why I am trying to promote awareness.

      She loved the chocolate cake it always made things better xxx

  11. Hi this awful I thought discrimination was getting better now children with special needs attend main stream schools. I have worked with young people with learning disabilites for years and seen and heard it all. If people took the trouble to get to know these people and learnt they are no differnet from any other person if not better. I fully support you. I hope she is feeling better. Love Janet.x

    • Thank you for your comment.

      I agree that if people did get to know the person they would be pleasantly surprised. Thank you for your support.

      She is a lot better thanks been giving her lots of TLC.

      wendy xx

  12. This is so sad. My daughter has a friend with special needs and he is so welcomed by everyone and the girls go out of their way to make sure that he is always involved whether in the playground or out of school. I help in a class with two children with different needs but the teachers ensure they are treated the same as everyone else. I do think the parents are to blame. How else do children learn to treat them differently?

  13. My heart bleeds for her – but it’s not only these special little kids who are so discriminated against by unthinkling parents – my son has schizophrenia (25 years old) and my grandson is so excluded – do they think it’s catching!!!!

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