I Thought I Had Come To Terms With Things

I thought that I had come to terms with everything regarding Gnome well that was until I got a phone call, then all of a sudden it was like I had hit a brick wall, I actually felt quite numb as well. It was going through all the things that he couldn’t do

Then seeing pictures of babies that were born around the same time as Little Gnome. The parents are boasting about their children crawling and walking, talking etc and quite rightly so. It’s a very proud moment when your children reach these milestones, shout it from the roof tops and be very proud. Then I look at Little Gnome who is nowhere near these milestones.

Next month Little Gnome is having his developmental check and I know this is going to high light a lot of things. Just talking about it now upsets me. So goodness knows how I am going to feel. I know I am lucky yo have him etc. Just feel well I can’t explain how I feel. It just seems to be one thing after another, I just want life to give me a bit of a break.

I think everything seems worse than it is because I am so tired.I’ve not slept properly in weeks as we have been up most of the night with Gnome does anyone know of any really strong coffee


12 responses to “I Thought I Had Come To Terms With Things

  1. is there anyone who can ‘night sit’ for you maybe once a week. Take yourself off to maybe a travel lodge (good deals at the moment) so you can relax and chill out but most importantly have a good nights undisturbed sleep?
    Everything always looks bleaker when your’e suffering from lack of sleep, here’s sending you a really big hug as I sense that’s what your’e also needing right now x

  2. I’m sorry you’re having such a rough trot at the moment. I agree with Pam, you do need to recharge those batteries. Everything looks better or is at least easier to deal with after a good night’s sleep x

  3. Braehill Photography

    It’s not much help i know, but vent, scream from the bottom of your lungs if need be. I know i do when i have a real bad day with my autistic son (whose now 6) and the sleepless nights, the days were all is wrong and you feel alone, and helpless, and yer head is banging off a brick wall… it’s one of the joys of having a blog and esp on twitter.. you can vent to your friends.. you can let it out. it does help, even if it’s just to get it outta the system for 5 mins, then knuckle down to the tasks ahead. Life’s not easy living with an austistic child but God must think our shoulders can bare it! *hugs* xo

  4. Sounds you are having a crap time at the moment, which you have absolutely every right to do; you are only human.

    I always describe this whole process as an emotional rollercoaster and that’s exactly what it is. Part of this rollercoaster is accepting our children’s limitations and the different path they will take developmentally and socially. It’s a big bloody ask because at the end of the day we are mothers and this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be!

    I really feel for you and your family at the
    Moment & reading your post I have felt exactly the same. Memories of me asking who the hell the educational psychologist was and who the hell was she talking about spring to
    Mind but that’s another long story!

    You sound a great mam who was the best for all your kids. Promise me you will keep writing, I totally relate & understand & it’s such good therapy. Get today over with & let’s see what tomorrow brings-be it good or bad i know you can cope. Love to you and your family.

    X x x x xx x

  5. That is rough, I remember going through that as well.
    On one hand, I hated it but then I started to realize, that without having such a big community with which to share these (missed) milestones, I might not have caught my son’s Autism and gotten him diagnosed and the help he needed as quickly as I had.
    I’m not saying you have to look on the bright side, but just that even though it hurts, it does come with it’s purpose.
    The milestones will come, just not on time. Just keep at it… after you get some sleep.

  6. Pingback: Tweets that mention I Thought I Had Come To Terms With Things | The Trials and Tribulations of the Sav-ettes -- Topsy.com

  7. I feel like this. I get myself upset out of nowhere reading on Facebook my friend’s kid (6 weeks younger) can sing Twinkle Twinkle and my little buddy is no where near that. We just got done with an evaluation at the end of December and things actually feel better now. I’m able to get resources and sent to therapists now. Have some hope about what may come from all this. Big hugs 🙂

  8. It is very difficult, however much you love and are greatful for your child, to watch other’s children developing ‘normally’ whilst your child falls further behind in developmental milestones. I wasn’t jealouse of those families/children I just held a deep sadness that my little one hadn’t met that target at the same age. The most memorable occasion was at J’s special school. Can you believe that? We went to watch a Christmas play around the time he started there and as I sat watching the kids, tears rolled down my face. I was watching kids with severe handicaps and my kid couldn’t do what they were capable of. : / Six years later, I know that time changes things, J is making progress however slowly. So will little Gnome and you know that too. Take a deep breath, have a rest if you can. Ask for help if yo feel you need it. Talk to someone, we’re here to listen too. Then come back fighting. We do a job as parents of disabled children that is so worth doing. Personally I wouldn’t swap mine for the world! Take care. Fiona xxx

  9. It is really hard when there are baby’s around the same age and you can not help but compare them at all. I hope that you manage to find some peace and accceptance. You are a great mum and I am sure LG will achieve to the best of his abililities and you will be a fantastic advocate for him as he is growing up. Sending you my thoughts

  10. Hey! Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time at the moment. I totally agree with the other comments and you do need to recharge your batteries. When we are tired, everything feels like a huge obstacle and hurdles feel like mountains. Of course it won’t change the difficulties you are having to deal with but it might give you the energy to gather your thoughts and handle whatever crap is thrown at you. It is so sad when you see that your child isn’t developing the same way as others the same age. However, in time Little Gnome will meet certain developmental milestones, perhaps not the ones you had hoped but he will progress, just in his own time and own unique way. You will have things to celebrate with him. It just doesn’t feel like it at the moment. Please be strong and remember you are NEVER alone.

  11. I must be tired too cos I didn’t even spell my name right in my last comment!

  12. Sorry you are having a tough time at the moment. Just keep remembering how much you love your Little Gnome and how special he is, that is all that matters.
    Mich x

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