Why don’t you love me , what did I do that’s so wrong? All my life I have tried to impress you but everything I seem to do gets thrown back in my face. Even from a very young age you distanced yourself from me and that really hurt, but you was never there , did you care ? You missed all my plays at school and never came to see what I had achieved. You have given me very little self-esteem and now I think anything I do is never good enough. I find it very hard to accept praise.
Then when I went through a tough stage in my life where everything was bleak, I had lost virtually everything but did you hear my plea no as usual you just ignored my cries. I needed you but you never came. Some how I found the strength to get through the darkest period of my life without you.
Through the years it took me a long time to rebuild my life and that was all through having a loving husband that is so supportive. Without him I don’t know where I will be now. You don’t hear my pleas but do you know what, that’s ok I have my life. I will support my children and I will go to see them in school plays and I will be proud of all their achievements no matter how great or small.
I have done this without you, you weren’t there, where were you ?
Last week was an awful week so much was going on the kids had suffered major meltdowns. I was feeling very disheartened with everything and everyone a very down week.
Then my 13 month old Gnome sat unaided for the first time in his life. He is still very floppy and lost control of his body a few times I think he always will be like that unfortunately but least now he can sit up and see the world from a different perspective. So I wanted to get him a treat to say well done for his massive achievement.
Well you should have seen my surprise when I looked in my email and saw a message from appliance online who had read my blog and had wanted to offer me some Amazon vouchers as a gift. Well who could say no to such a generous offer.
So thanks to appliance online Gnome has some fantastic sensory toys that will help him and he absolutely loves them.
There is more if you leave a comment at the bottom of this post the Appliance Online Fairy Godmother might be just reading this and some of you may get a visit from them.
Posted in Baby, Gify, Play
Last week I wrote a post on how Gnome despite his mobility problems sat up on his own, which is absolutely amazing because at 13 months old he has never been able to do this.
Well all week he has been practising to sit using the Leckey Squiggles seat, we have had lots of floor time to improve his muscle development as he has very low muscle tone. As he started to become more confident I have taken away the use of the Leckey Squiggles. He sits on the floor with me sat behind him for support. Now as the days has progressed he isn’t relying on me as much now and sitting independently ok its only for few minutes till he loses control of his muscles but he is still doing it. So very very proud of him.
I decided to get him a high chair so he could at least see more of what was going on and for his safety when I have to leave the room. I had it reclined for the last couple days as he is unable to sit up in it without leaning to the left. This morning I put him in and tried to sit him upright and he sat there, no leaning he sat upright .OMG !!!!!!
My baby is now sitting up playing OMG he is playing I am sat here crying as this is something that I would never see. I am one very proud mummy
As some of you will know as you see the #specialsaturday I have started a new way to try and raise awareness of special needs a cause very very close to me heart as a mum to 3 special needs children. As a result of this it has also opened up a new blog for me to host the posts of #specialsaturday the new blog is for special needs
Why did I start #specialsaturday, well there are several reasons the main was when this happened to my 4-year-old daughter who has special needs wasn’t invited to a birthday party you can read that post here >> Why are parents so hurtful this just didn’t happen once but twice in as many weeks talk about a devastated little girl. She was that upset she ran out of the front door down the street, luckily she stopped but with no concept of danger it could have been a very different story all over an invite , very sad isn’t it . Then there was this status I was sent on Facebook summed it all up nicely .
Next time you see a child ‘misbehaving’ or hear a child screaming please stop and think ‘could that child have special needs or sensory issues?’. Please spare a thought for the child who struggles to stay calm and regulated and for the parents who are constantly stared at, judged and criticized.
I had an incident in the summer that highlighted this
The best bit was there was a lady in a wheelchair you know what really got me that people moved for this lady because she was in the wheelchair. They came past us and Pinkie wouldn’t move out-of-the-way . This woman had the cheek to say ” can you move, can’t you see I am disabled ” . I thought what ………… I have my 4-year-old daughter here that is maybe just as disabled who can’t walk very far but because she looks normal nobody takes any notice. To them she is just a very naughty girl.
so many people are very quick to judge without knowing the full story. In everyday life we get this as well playgrounds are the worse areas I find for bigots and people being judgemental.
Do you realise how hurt and upset your actions make parents like me feel. I myself, feel like I am a second class citizen that is not worth people talking to. i stand in the playground wishing for the door to open so I can get away from all of you and back to security of my own home. I am not ashamed of my kids or their conditions because thats what makes them so unique. If you can’t handle that fact then that is your problem, not mine
So to try to stop parents and children going through all this which I have to say is not very nice and totally upsetting. I started #specialsaturday so it allows parents to show case the positive points of special needs and the achievements that these special angels can and do achieve. So come on and learn about special needs it might make a life time of difference to someone. Please support #specialsaturday if you don’t put a post up please use the hashtag -#specialsaturday on any of your tweets. Lets get people start talking about special needs.
I have been thinking about my blog for a while ways of improving it. Well after having a chat with some lovely people on twitter I think its time for change. All the comments on the blog are the same people not only use it as a blog but a resource as well do you that’s a big compliment that you use my blog like that thank you.
Anyway some of the changes I was thinking about is firstly the name, the name is a bit long and to be honest I never expected the blog to take off as much as it did. The jury is still out on the name lol.
So with a new name comes a new look very exciting.
Then what do people think about a forum so parents can come and chat and help each other, either on this blog of the forspecialneeds blog.
Did think about combining the 2 blogs but think it would work better having 2 separate ones.
what else would people like to see on my blog do you like the ideas of reviews being on there , I think this gives you ideas of what is available and how special needs children benefit/use them.
Please let me know what you think I would love to hear your suggestions and ideas
It’s strange how one minute you can think of things then all of a sudden out of the blue you have a lightbulb moment and everything is crystal clear.
For weeks I have been struggling with not getting picked for reviews. I wanted to be taken seriously as a blogger and thought you had to tons of reviews to do it. I know my blog is different from other parenting blogs as I write specifically about autism and special needs, to be honest I didn’t think it would get many readers but these last few months have proved me wrong. In November I was in the wikio parenting rankings at 18,000 yes you read that right. December it jumped up to a ranking of 180 , January it was ranked at 38, February it was ranked at 50. Now to be this is great as it shows people are reading more about autism/special needs. Then I thought if I do all the reviews going perhaps it would be ranked higher.
Yesterday we were travelling back from a day out and I thought, why am I doing all these reviews?, what difference does it make how many read the blog?. I didn’t write the blog for the kudos my blog is all about helping people. Out there in cyberland there are hundreds of parents in the same position as me. Some scared, lonely, isolated, it these sorts of people I WANT to help. I remember when my son was diagnosed with autism when he was 3 years old , how scared,angry and upset I was. I needed to talk to people . I read all the books going but all I wanted was someone who had been through it so I could relate to what they were saying.
I think I had lost my passion and mojo to write my blog and had got caught up in all the rankings etc, instead of why I love blogging. I would still love to review things, who doesn’t like trying new things out. I have been really lucky and tested some very nice things. I think though its time to get back to basics and start to feel passionate about writing my blog rather than thinking I must do a blog post.
This week this has really come to head I have either spoke, said things online, have gone for things like reviews and no one seems to listen to me, so it got me thinking perhaps I am invisible.
This all started this week, I told the kids to sort their rooms out of course this fell on deaf ears so they continued to play. I stood at the bottom shouting at them to come downstairs but do you think they heard me, must be my quiet voice lol. So I go upstairs and what do they do instead of tidying their rooms all 3 come downstairs I thought flipping typical. There has been several incidents like that this week.
Then there was the incident of talking to a professional who work with the kids. I did say can we talk about getting some support please, I asked very polite and clearly. She sat chatting away about something completely different not relevant but it was quite useful . Then out of the blue said
“I think we should look and finding you some support ”
I thought ,What ? Didn’t I say that about 20 minutes ago, so we discussed ways of getting support. Which reminds me if you have autistic /special needs children please check you are getting all the advice/support/services you are entitled to. It seems for years we have missed out on a few services that should have been working with us.
Then online there has been incidents of people asking for reviewers I have sent the tweet saying I would love to test/review X I mean who doesn’t like trying new things out, I know I do. Do you think they noticed, nope my tweet got lost in cyber space or my email got misplaced.
So again I miss out on reviewing some wonderful things. Yes I am a blogger but I do like/love to review things and will quite happily blog about said item.
Then there is the school run no one talks to me while we are all waiting for our little darlings to come out, so I must be invisible that proves it. Imagine if you was invisible to the world how would you feel ?